- Me doing my best impression of my psychic secretary
“When you are the light you should earn your living through the sharing of insight.”
These words were written on the cover of a navy blue book I had just picked up off the shelf that had the title Unforgettable written on the spine. This happened in a dream, but I was lucid enough to know that as soon as I woke up I should write the words from the cover of that book down—verbatim. So I did . . . in the scribbly scrawl of nighttime ideas that I often wake up to find are incoherent or really not that brilliant in the morning light.
Except this nighttime scribbly scrawl is different. This is a pretty clear memo from my psyche. And I adorably chose to write it down and then hide the piece of paper away in a careless stack and not mention it to anyone or do anything about it for several months. The beauty of messages from myself, though, and perhaps this is true of messages that you get from yourself, too, is that if I don’t listen to them immediately they come dressed in different costumes later on . . . sometimes knocking on my door as the UPS guy, sometimes sitting across from me at lunch as a literary agent, sometimes masquerading as a seemingly crazy person delivering a message to me on the street (yes, this has actually happened to me and I’ll tell you the story in a later post). Then sometimes they come as illness or stasis or tears. Often for me they come as tears. Little liquid memos sliding down my cheeks in times of questioning and praying.
Starting in September my skin started to crawl in that way that skin does when you’ve outgrown your pot . . . when your roots and limbs and leaves and stalks are simply getting too big and it’s time for a bigger container. At first I decided it was because I hated my business and I became immediately stuck and unproductive as a result. To fill up all the time that I suddenly was no longer spending on building and running my business I immediately signed up for an acting class, a Fire Starter session, a personal organizer’s services, coaching, acupuncture, and yoga teacher training. My “stuck” usually looks pretty busy. I’m not so good with sitting with my questions and awaiting answers. I like to do things in the meantime so as to prevent receiving answers too quickly or too clearly. That would be too easy. (Caveat: my compulsive doing-ness has actually proven to be a major asset and I’m truly grateful for my gift of keeping busy while awaiting messages from myself.) Read the rest of this entry »
